Waiting for the call

Do all foster parents experience the nervous excitement of receiving a call for the next placement? On my cell phone, when social services calls the number shows as Unlisted. So I almost always know when they are calling me. And every time, even though I routinely have workers calling about Monkey and SuperD, I get a little tingle thinking it might be a placement call. I don’t want to be excited, exactly. It’s not that I feel any kind of happiness about a child who has to come into foster care. And several times, I’ve gotten called and accepted a placement only to be called back and told that a relative is on their way in from out of state. I really do feel joy when I get those calls. I know if a relative is willing to come, it is most likely the best place for that child.

But the seven times I’ve gotten a call, accepted, and then waited to hear back about when I can pick up the child or have them brought to our house? Immediate endorphin rush as I hurry to call hubby and tell him to expect a new kiddo, gather age appropriate items, plan logistics and try not to get TOO invested since I know they could call back at any time and tell me the child won’t be coming. I really don’t think there is any other feeling like this, at least not that I’ve experienced.I hadn’t been giving a lot of thought to new placements, since we’re at two. I think our file says we only want two, and that’s what we have actually said. But twice now, we’ve had three.

Right now, every time the phone rings, I find myself hoping it is a new placement. One I can accept, which really means a little girl since SuperD’s room is not conducive to sharing. Hubby and I have talked about it. Our agency doesn’t really allow you to check with your spouse prior to saying yes. They want you to be on the same page and know what you can and can’t handle. I’m okay with that and hubby knows that if we get a call for a 0-2 year old girl, there is virtually no chance I’m saying no. It doesn’t make a ton of sense as far as our life is concerned, but I feel like there is a child out there who is supposed to be in our home and who will be finding their way to us soon. Is that crazy?