For a while now, I have followed a blog called Chasing Rainbows. The author, Kate Leong, is the mother of two little boys and a baby
girl who was born too early. Gavin, the older boy, had a life filled with
challenges. He had an undiagnosed disorder that led to many illnesses and
significant special needs. Last week, he unexpectedly and devastatingly passed
away at 5 1/2 years old. His mother put out a call for people to do an act of kindness in Gavin’s
honor and memory.
For several months, I’ve read Kate’s writing and strived to emulate the way she parents. She has so much joy and love and patience. She’s truly amazing. I really wanted to come up with an act of kindness to honor her and Gavin, and I wanted to be something hubby and I did together. This afternoon I broached the idea to him and said I had a few ideas (donate to a local children’s shelter, hand out grocery store gift cards, that kind of thing). To be fair, hubby’s job is INSANE right now. He regularly logs 60-80+ hour weeks and is still behind, in addition to helping me at home and with the kids. He looked at me, laughed and said, “You mean, other than feeding, clothing, transporting and loving someone else’s kids? Oh, and dealing with all of their appointments and family drama? Most people consider that to be enough.”
He wasn’t being snarky or anything, I think he really thinks it is funny that I don’t even think about fostering as anything out of the ordinary. I really don’t anymore. It is just our life and the way we parent, the way some people parent children with special needs and some (probably most) people parent while both work outside the home and some parent from a distance due to jobs, the military, etc. Everyone’s life is different and has its own challenges, and our life includes the joy and challenge of foster children. I know foster parents, us included, don’t love it when people tell us they could never be foster parents, they’d get too attached, call us saints or imply that we’re doing something extraordinary when we know anyone can do it. I wonder how many of us also just kind of forget we’re foster parents on a day to day basis (outside of social workers, bio families, etc.) and have just assimilated foster kids as part of our lives.
For the record, he also agreed that an act of kindness to honor Gavin Leong would be a good idea and we’re brainstorming. And in completely unrelated news, yesterday, at 7 ½ months old, Monkey rolled from back to front for the first time! Of course it was the same day that Early Intervention called to set up an assessment, which we’ll be doing next week.
For several months, I’ve read Kate’s writing and strived to emulate the way she parents. She has so much joy and love and patience. She’s truly amazing. I really wanted to come up with an act of kindness to honor her and Gavin, and I wanted to be something hubby and I did together. This afternoon I broached the idea to him and said I had a few ideas (donate to a local children’s shelter, hand out grocery store gift cards, that kind of thing). To be fair, hubby’s job is INSANE right now. He regularly logs 60-80+ hour weeks and is still behind, in addition to helping me at home and with the kids. He looked at me, laughed and said, “You mean, other than feeding, clothing, transporting and loving someone else’s kids? Oh, and dealing with all of their appointments and family drama? Most people consider that to be enough.”
He wasn’t being snarky or anything, I think he really thinks it is funny that I don’t even think about fostering as anything out of the ordinary. I really don’t anymore. It is just our life and the way we parent, the way some people parent children with special needs and some (probably most) people parent while both work outside the home and some parent from a distance due to jobs, the military, etc. Everyone’s life is different and has its own challenges, and our life includes the joy and challenge of foster children. I know foster parents, us included, don’t love it when people tell us they could never be foster parents, they’d get too attached, call us saints or imply that we’re doing something extraordinary when we know anyone can do it. I wonder how many of us also just kind of forget we’re foster parents on a day to day basis (outside of social workers, bio families, etc.) and have just assimilated foster kids as part of our lives.
For the record, he also agreed that an act of kindness to honor Gavin Leong would be a good idea and we’re brainstorming. And in completely unrelated news, yesterday, at 7 ½ months old, Monkey rolled from back to front for the first time! Of course it was the same day that Early Intervention called to set up an assessment, which we’ll be doing next week.
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