Saturday, June 29, 2013


While I was out running errands today, hubby did some rearranging in Monkey’s room. We wanted to take the changing table and swing out, as we’re not using them anymore, and create a better play space for our active girl. Hubby took the furniture out and moved our spare toddler bed, which had been shoved into a corner. Inadvertently, the setup is almost exactly how it was when we had A & N. He mentally noted it and figured I would tell him if I wanted it changed, but didn’t tell me.

Cut to me walking into the room to put Monkey down for her nap, settling into the rocking chair to feed her, looking around and falling apart. With this setup, everywhere I look I see A & N. A climbing into N’s bed and N getting mad. N crawling under the bookshelf and giggling. Both girls snuggling into a big, pink stuffed bunny. The mental images just keep coming. I finally got Monkey down and walked into the kitchen, tears streaming. Hubby took one look at me and knew exactly what was going on.

Most of the time, I’m fine. I can smile at memories of the girls, love being in touch with their relatives and adore getting new photos and updates of my babies. But man, I was not prepared for that today. It’s days like today that our mantra, “We can do hard things,” (thanks Momastery) is my lifeline.I will definitely be getting to work in there and changing things to meet Monkey's needs ASAP.

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