Thursday, August 8, 2013

Controlling the story

We have an opportunity in a few weeks to go to a local camp for foster/adoptive families. It is put on by our state’s foster parent advocacy organization. My first reaction was that we’d totally go! Three days with other foster families, time for just the grown-ups while kids have their own sessions. And it’s almost free, plus food and housing is provided. What’s not to love?

But the more I think about it, the more I’m hesitant. Not for hubby or myself. I love the idea of connecting with lots of other foster families. We know hardly any local ones. But I hesitate for SuperD. I’m not sure it’s the right environment for him at this time.

You see, he has no idea he’s a “foster kid.” In SuperD’s innocent little 4 yo mind, his first parents couldn’t keep him safe so – YAY!, he came to live with us, and we were so excited and happy and lucky! He doesn’t have a caseworker, a CASA and a therapist. He has Miss M, Miss S and Miss C, who love to visit and play with him. In fact, he’s pretty sure that everyone who comes to our house is here to see him. I don’t think he understands that all  kids don’t have a team of women rallying around them. And I kind of like it that way. His life is his normal, and I don’t ever want him to feel different from other kids for having been in foster care.

We’ve never intentionally hidden anything from him. It just never came up. I fully intend to tell him the truth and be 100% open about his life story and adoption. We’ll probably even have contact with his first parents in the future (the distant future). But I’m not sure now is the time to put him in with a lot of other foster/adopted children, when I can’t control the messages he hears about foster care and adoption. I’ll have to talk to hubby about it and see what he thinks. But my gut is telling me that, this year, this might not be the camp for us.

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