Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Name changes

My brother was asking me some questions about adoption today, one of them being if we plan to change SuperD’s name. I’ve given this a lot of thought. We will definitely be changing his last name, of course. And I’m going to offer him the option of changing his middle name to hubby’s middle name or maybe even a name that he chooses himself. I don’t think he’ll do it, but I want to give him the choice.
But we’re not changing his first name. I know the foster/adopt community has strong opinions on this topic. Our reasons are as follows:

  • He’s almost 5. He knows his name and it would be unfair to ask him to take a new one.
  • While I would like to change his name to make him less searchable by his bio-family, there are no safety reasons that compel me to do so.
  • SuperD, in particular, is very attached to his name as his identity. I believe it will be hard enough for him to change his last name and that he’d freak out if we changed his first. He doesn’t even like it when we joke about his first name being something different than it already is.
  • I believe as he grows up, having his name as a link to his first parents will be important to him.
I don’t love SuperD’s given name, but I do love him enough not to put him through another loss on a whim. 

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