Tuesday, September 3, 2013

First day = FAIL

Today was SuperD’s first day of Pre-K. Since he’s almost 5, he’s older than most of the other kids. We opted to pay for private preschool at the same place he was in “summer school” (daycare), and he was able to keep the same teacher. I really had hoped that not transitioning him to a new school with a new teacher would help him this year. However, his anxiety got the best of him today. The report upon pickup at the end of the day was that he was out of control, refusing to listen, climbing furniture, JUMPING ON OTHER KIDS’ BACKS, and had to be isolated at his own table for most of the day.

His little face was so sad after school. My heart just broke for him. I could see that he was disregulated this morning, and I deeply regret not spending 5 minutes rocking him and reading to him, or engaging in some kind of calming activity before taking him to school. Hubby and I talked and identified two things that we think set him off.

1. Even though he had the same teacher, he was the only kid who returned to the class. So he was surrounded by all new students.
2. He was SO excited about his new school supplies, and he thought he’d be using them. Apparently they didn’t use their pencil boxes and all their new goodies today.

We think he went to school with certain expectations and the day just didn’t go how he expected. We talked when he came home and he tried to tell me he didn’t use his calm brain because he “missed me.” That’s a trick that used to work with his bio-mom. If he said he missed her, he got a pass on any and all behavior. I acknowledged his feelings and we went over our strategies for coping with missing people and also how to find the calm brain when mommy and daddy aren’t around. Then we had him practice finding his calm brain by sitting quietly and reading for a while.

I know 4 yo boys act crazy. And traumatized kids act crazy. But I am starting to get a little freaked at the long-term commitment of parenting a traumatized kiddo. I can maintain some control of a 4 yo. But a 10 yo? A 14 yo? I have no idea. I guess we’ll just learn as we go.

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