My husband and I are struggling right now. There are a LOT
of potential changes on the horizon for SuperD’s case, but at the moment it
feels like the more things change, the more they stay the same. The one thing
that is not staying the same is SuperD’s behavior, which is getting worse by
the moment. Hubby and I are frustrated, sad, confused and frankly, a sick of
it. But as foster parents, we know we also have to empathetic and sympathetic,
understanding, patient, kind, etc., etc. Admittedly, this is our first time
with a 4-year-old. We know that boundary pushing, talking back, not listening,
incessant talking and attention-seeking are not abnormal behaviors for that
age. But they sure are irritating!
SuperD doesn’t really respond to punishment because he seems unable to correlate cause and effect. For instance, standard discipline around here is taking away TV for the afternoon (SuperD get to watch about 45 min. of TV per day, after his nap). If I take it away in the morning for impulsive behavior, not following direction or whatever, by afternoon he has already forgotten why the punishment was administered. And there is almost nothing I can do/take away at the time he makes his poor choice or exhibits unacceptable behavior that really has an impact. And I don’t really blame him. The kid’s parents have been taken away – does it really matter if he loses a toy or television or sits in time out for 5 minutes?
This is something we work on constantly. We expected behavior change around this point, as he has now been in our home longer than either of his two previous placements. I think he knows now that we aren’t going to bail on him, he’s not going anywhere, so he is determined to push to see what he can get away with. But, dude, foster parenting is no treat these days! It’s a good thing he’s cute.
SuperD doesn’t really respond to punishment because he seems unable to correlate cause and effect. For instance, standard discipline around here is taking away TV for the afternoon (SuperD get to watch about 45 min. of TV per day, after his nap). If I take it away in the morning for impulsive behavior, not following direction or whatever, by afternoon he has already forgotten why the punishment was administered. And there is almost nothing I can do/take away at the time he makes his poor choice or exhibits unacceptable behavior that really has an impact. And I don’t really blame him. The kid’s parents have been taken away – does it really matter if he loses a toy or television or sits in time out for 5 minutes?
This is something we work on constantly. We expected behavior change around this point, as he has now been in our home longer than either of his two previous placements. I think he knows now that we aren’t going to bail on him, he’s not going anywhere, so he is determined to push to see what he can get away with. But, dude, foster parenting is no treat these days! It’s a good thing he’s cute.
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