Stepping Up

Rumor has it that there's a possibility one of SuperD's relatives will be petitioning for custody of him. They are all out of state, which would mean a long ICPC wait. If that’s going to happen, I hope they step up sooner rather than later. This poor kid deserves permanency ASAP, after more than  17 months in foster care and a disrupted kinship placement. 
I’m not sure how I feel about it. Once hubby and I settled on wanting to adopt him, we really embraced it and have worked so hard to bond. It would be really hard to let go of that. I also really worry that another move is going to set him up for the attachment disorder he is narrowly avoiding right now. However, I do really support kinship placements when appropriate – I just prefer if they step up on their own and don’t have to be talked into it. 

Community visits

Monkey’s mom requested a community visit with her kids this week, as in, they meet out in the community somewhere instead of in a room at the agency. Monkey’s social worker denied the request. The same social worker who told Monkey’s mom that she was welcome to accompany us, unsupervised, to the mall to get Monkey’s ears pierced. What gives?? When we first got the case, we were told there would be no community visits due to family concerns. I assumed those concerns were gone once the worker gave permission for ME to supervise a community visit. Apparently not?? Pretty annoyed right now.

Saturday visit

We took Monkey to get her ears pierced this morning. Mom and her sister (Monkey’s aunt) came, and I had mom pick out the earrings and hold Monkey while it was being done. Monkey was hysterical after and mom had to give her to me to calm her down. I really, really dislike the baby ears pierced look, but I know that’s just me. Other than that part, we had a really good visit. I had mom pick out some jammies and outfits for Monkey, which I bought. It felt good to let her make some choices for her baby. 

We talked a lot about how we feel fortunate to have such a good relationship and about staying in contact post-reunification (I’m telling myself daily that this baby is going home so I don’t make the mistake of feeling like we’re keeping her again). It was a good visit, but I have been totally drained the rest of the day. I’ve spent the whole day loving on Monkey and getting nothing else accomplished. Hubby has taken charge of SuperD to give me a break (bless him) so I plan to get the baby to bed and spend the rest of the evening reading in my new hammock. And I only feel a little bad for being so lazy.  J

Proud, proud, proud!

We just got home from a super quick, 24-hour mini-vacation to an indoor waterpark nearby. SuperD did awesome! Despite not having his “calm brain” before we left for the trip, he listened to us, behaved (mostly) safely and had a great time playing at the park. On the way home, hubby commented that we could never have done this trip 6 months ago. So proud of that kid!

Signs

Another job opportunity has come my way. Without me seeking it. At a time when we are feeling a little financially tight.I’m taking these opportunities as a sign. I can’t control what happens with my kids, as much as I want to. I CAN control my life and the future of my nuclear family, which at this point includes only hubby and myself. I’ve been wanting another placement for a while, but I feel like these jobs are a sign that my life is supposed to be taking a different direction right now. I will have confidence that childcare arrangements will fall into place and this will work out the way it is supposed to.

Changes

It looks like a dream job might be falling into my lap in the next few weeks. It would be part-time, kind of an on-call job. I’m so torn. I never planned to stay home after I finished grad school last year. But SuperD needed me home, then we got Monkey and I LOVED being home with her. I still do. In seven months, she’s only had been left with one person, for about 5 hours, other than hubby and I. And at visits, of course, and that was a hot mess for a long time. I really don't love the idea of not being home with her, but professionally it would be silly not take this job.

I would have to put SuperD into a full-time program, I think I don’t think he could handle going to daycare some days and other days being home. He needs the structure and consistency. And I’m not clear about how to pay for it – if I was working full-time, DHS would pay for daycare. But this is a pretty part-time gig, so I suspect I’d be paying for it out of the stipends, which is fine.

I suppose I should actually apply for the job before I have a total childcare freakout, huh?

Weekend fun

Our little family worked HARD this weekend. Hubby spent his time alternating between re-mulching the lawn (previous homeowners put in a ton of landscaping that requires lots of maintenance) and building SuperD a treehouse! Right now, SuperD thinks it is a bunch of wood for him to climb and swing on. Can't wait till he figures out what it really is! 

I know it's not impressive yet, but it's going to be awesome!