Signs

Another job opportunity has come my way. Without me seeking it. At a time when we are feeling a little financially tight.I’m taking these opportunities as a sign. I can’t control what happens with my kids, as much as I want to. I CAN control my life and the future of my nuclear family, which at this point includes only hubby and myself. I’ve been wanting another placement for a while, but I feel like these jobs are a sign that my life is supposed to be taking a different direction right now. I will have confidence that childcare arrangements will fall into place and this will work out the way it is supposed to.

Changes

It looks like a dream job might be falling into my lap in the next few weeks. It would be part-time, kind of an on-call job. I’m so torn. I never planned to stay home after I finished grad school last year. But SuperD needed me home, then we got Monkey and I LOVED being home with her. I still do. In seven months, she’s only had been left with one person, for about 5 hours, other than hubby and I. And at visits, of course, and that was a hot mess for a long time. I really don't love the idea of not being home with her, but professionally it would be silly not take this job.

I would have to put SuperD into a full-time program, I think I don’t think he could handle going to daycare some days and other days being home. He needs the structure and consistency. And I’m not clear about how to pay for it – if I was working full-time, DHS would pay for daycare. But this is a pretty part-time gig, so I suspect I’d be paying for it out of the stipends, which is fine.

I suppose I should actually apply for the job before I have a total childcare freakout, huh?

Weekend fun

Our little family worked HARD this weekend. Hubby spent his time alternating between re-mulching the lawn (previous homeowners put in a ton of landscaping that requires lots of maintenance) and building SuperD a treehouse! Right now, SuperD thinks it is a bunch of wood for him to climb and swing on. Can't wait till he figures out what it really is! 

I know it's not impressive yet, but it's going to be awesome!

Support

When we became foster parents, I swore we would have great relationships with the parents of our kids. We wanted to support them. We wanted the kids to go home. And then we got the kids, and I fell in love with them. Turns out, it is a whole lot easier to theoretically support people who have damaged children you love than it is to actually support them. And yet, hubby and I have stayed true to our ideals, having as good a relationship as possible (which is not always actually that great) with the parents of every little one we’ve cared for.

That was easy with A&N. Their parents weren’t in our state and we had infrequent contact. It has been harder with SuperD, but we’ve worked hard at it. I’m fortunate to have a great relationship with Monkey’s mom and dad. That said, because Monkey is a baby, our relationship has been limited to good communication during her twice-a-month visits.  We don’t do phone calls, obviously. But now I’m being asked to push it to the next level. Monkey’s mom is requesting a phone call on non-visit weeks, just for an update. And our social worker told her she could come with us to get Monkey’s ears pierced (which is happening at mom's request/insistence) if we were okay with it. Which I’m not, really, but since she spoke with Monkey’s mom and not me, I don’t feel like I have a choice.

What I do have is an opportunity. I can practice what I preached. I’m not thrilled about it. I’m not all that comfortable with it. But I’m also not this baby’s mom, much as I want to be, and I think more frequent contact will be a good reality check for me. And I do believe my support can and will make a difference in Monkey’s mom's life, which can ultimately only be good for baby girl. It's hard, but I'm choosing to love and respect the other mama who loves this little one as much as I do.

Emotional family visit for Monkey today. Looks like hubby and I will be taking on a mentoring role with her mom. I suspect this case will do a complete 180 and the kids will go home in the fall.

And I seriously wish I could post pictures of her adorableness as she tries to figure out how to crawl.

Home again

Just got back from a much needed min-vacation with my mom. Hubby manned the troops at home and made it look easy. While taking care of the kids alone, he dug up and replaced the mulch in the backyard, set up my new hammock (!) and begin to build a tree fort for SuperD. I am so lucky to him! Now it’s my turn, as he’s off on a last minute business trip for the next three days.

For the record, SuperD was an angel while I was going. No arguing, minimal impulsive behavior. Hubby said SuperD’s anxious chatter was at a minimum and he was able to entertain himself for long periods of time. The minute I got home, it was disregulated city around here. The long, sweet hug I got from my little boy when I got makes it all worth it, though.

Continued

For the second time in six weeks, we had a goal change hearing continued because the guardian ad litum was sick. This time, Monkey's GAL was actually there but her siblings' was not. I'm not sure why they didn't proceed with Monkey's case, since it is basically separate from the other kids. They also scheduled the new date for THREE MONTHS from now. I've never heard of a continued date being scheduled more than 30 days out because of deadlines for funding. I don't have a lot of confidence in our city attorney, who didn't speak up once. The social services supervisor looked appropriately ticked, though, which made me feel somewhat better. Mom did mention that she has started making appointments for services. I just don't know if that will be enough, or if it will be too little, too late.

I really just hope God/the universe/whatever entity is in charge of taking care of children is paying attention and ensures that the right decision is made for these kids, no matter what that is.

I'm going to pour my second glass of wine now. I hate court days.